


Clear the Bases

by draco_illius_noctis



Series: Caught Looking World [8]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Anders Loves Cats, Baseball, Cats, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:16:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6608614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draco_illius_noctis/pseuds/draco_illius_noctis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of drabbles and other short pieces for my Caught Looking world that might not fit into the main story or be long enough for a standalone. Consider anything in here canon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set vaguely in the spring after [24 Days of Handers. ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5326121/chapters/12297479)

“I’m tired.” 

“Then go to bed,” Anders yawns, giving my legs a playful shove off his lap.

“Come with me?” I sit up and stretch, “accidentally” hitting him in the face with my arm. It doesn’t seem to have any effect, he just ducks his head over a little and keeps watching TV.

“Don’t forget Woofy,” he replies, not taking his eyes off the screen.

It was a nice, warm spring evening, and a rare one Anders had off. We decided to grill in my backyard and enjoy the time outside now that the cold had disappeared. Woofy was thrilled to have both of us to play with, running around the backyard chasing balls we tossed in the air and drooling next to the table as we ate. I might have also slipped him an extra burger when Anders wasn’t looking.  

Woofy stayed outside while we cleaned up, and when we decided to relax and put on a movie I just left him there. He’s been cooped up all winter, I figure he could enjoy the fresh air. Although now that means I have to walk the extra 15 steps to the backdoor and I am entirely too lazy for that right now.

I sigh, scratching my beard as I absentmindedly open the door to let him in, barely paying attention when I see a flash of something sprint through my legs. I whirl around right as the tail curls around the corner into my bedroom.

“Nobody panic!” I scream, running into the living room. Anders jumps up, head darting around to see what has me in hysterics.

“Nobody panic!” I shout again. I’m definitely not panicking myself. “But there’s something in the house.”

Anders lets out a heavy sigh and gets ready to sit back down on the couch, but I grab his arm before he can.

“I’m serious,” I hiss. Maybe a quiet approach is better? Or, _or_ …maybe an Anders approach is better. As in, Anders can go find out what kind of creature is probably building a nest under my bed as we speak.

“Is it Woofy?”

“No, it’s not Woofy!” Why does he always ask me that first? “I saw a tail but it was too fast. It’s in the bedroom.”

Anders gives me a steady look before sighing again and shaking his head when I don’t say anything else.  

“And I’m guessing you want me to go find out what it is?” He smirks, already knowing the answer.

“Please? Before Woofy does?” Crap, I forgot about Woofy. Again. I have no idea if he even came inside.

Anders gives me a quick peck on the cheek and strides into my room as if nothing is wrong. I wait a minute, nervously drumming my fingers on the back of the couch before calling out to him.

“Anything yet?”

“Not yet,” he yells back.

I know it went in there. There’s no _way_ I was seeing things.

A moment later I’m sure of it when I hear a loud crash coming from the room, followed by Anders yelping.

“Um…everything okay in there?” I call out nervously. I get no reply, but I still hear some shuffling around in the room. I should probably go in there and help. But maybe it’ll scare whatever’s in there and it’ll run someplace else. Maybe I should just secretly close the door so it can’t get out instead…

I’m just about to head to my room when Anders reappears, look of pure adoration on his face. And holding a fluffy orange and white cat.

“It was a _cat_ , Garrett!” he exclaims, pulling it close. He’s grinning and making all kinds of silly noises at it, the cat blinking its eyes and giving him a very unimpressed look.

“It’s a good thing I found you instead of that big, scary dog, isn’t it?” he coos, scratching it behind the ears. This is weird. Is this how I sound when I talk to Woofy? No, I talk to Woofy like the adult dog he is, this is ridiculous.

“Okay, well we can let it back outside now. Its owners probably miss it.”

Anders jerks away when I get close, holding the cat out of reach.

“It doesn’t have a collar; we can’t just let it go back out there!”

“We also can’t let it stay in here with my 130-pound dog.”

“I’ll take it home then,” he counters, bopping it on its nose and smiling when it yanks its head away.

“What!” I cry. “You’re not going to stay here tonight?”

“Not unless the cat does.”

“Anders…love…” I sigh, looking towards the back door. “Woofy’s never been around a cat, I have no idea how he’ll react. Just because he gets along with other animals…”

“I’ll hold him and you hold Woofy and we’ll see what they do,” Anders replies, clearly already anticipating this comment.

“Fine,” I grumble. I know there’s no point in arguing with him. I need to find Woofy anyway and bring him in, since he didn’t seem to follow me inside. 

“Just wait here, let me go get him.”

Woofy is lying on the back deck, calm as can be, but comes inside as soon as I call him. I gently grab ahold of his collar when he walks past me and lead him into the living room where Anders is waiting.

“Look, Pounce, it’s your new big brother!” Anders murmurs to the now alert cat as we walk into the room.

“Pounce?”

“Shhh, let them meet,” Anders responds.

Woofy’s tail is wagging slowly as we approach and I can tell he’s just as confused about this entire scene as I am. The cat looks like it wants to bolt to the highest spot it can reach, but Anders is holding on tight.

“Want to say hello?” he asks the cat, bending forward just enough that they can sniff each other.

Woofy is hesitant, looking at me before looking back at Anders, but the cat is clearly ready for action. It’s still trying to pull itself out of Anders’ grip, and Woofy decides that _this_ is the best time for him to stick his head forward for a sniff.

A split second later and a small white paw is batting him on the nose. Woofy jolts back in surprise before leaning forward again for a second attempt. The cat is too quick, though, giving him another swipe. Woofy apparently thinks it’s a game because his tail is now wagging like crazy and he lets out a small happy bark.

“He likes you, Pounce!” Anders exclaims, snuggling the cat closer as it twists in his arms.

“I don’t think Pounce likes _him_ ,” I reply, frowning. I pull Woofy back a little and he sits, tail still wagging as he cocks his head to the side and watches. I feel like I have the same expression right now.

“Well, we need to get him a carrier,” Anders says happily. “Do you think any pet stores are still open?”

I look at the clock, then back at Anders slowly.

“It’s after 10, love. I doubt it.”

“Do you want to drive me back to my apartment?”

“What!” I whine, pulling back on Woofy’s collar when he hears the word “drive.” “I thought you were staying over!”

“Pounce can’t spend the night hungry and without a place to sleep.” He gives me a look like _I’m_ the insane one right now. “Really, Garrett. I’m here practically every night anyway.”

I slump down in my seat and sulk while Anders looks for his wallet and keys, still cooing at the cat. We glare at each other from across the room, Anders seemingly oblivious to the whole thing.

“Are you coming or not?”

“I guess,” I gripe. “Go wait outside so I can let go of Woofy.”

He heads out to the car and I stand, waiting for him to close the door before I let Woofy go. I bend down and scratch his head for a minute, my very good and gentle and not at all scary dog giving me a small lick in return.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” I murmur. “I’ll handle this. You’re still king of this castle.”

I groan, grabbing my wallet and shirt and head outside. What have I gotten myself into…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may adjust the timeline later, but figure this to be maybe March or April. These two slow asses still haven't gotten a house yet, so Anders is still technically living at his apartment, even though he spends most of his time at Garrett's. 
> 
> And in case you were worried about it, although Woofy is very well-trained he will not be left alone with Pounce until they are used to each other. [Standard Disclaimer] No animals will ever be harmed in the making of these stories.


	2. Talk Dirty to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett spends the day teasing Anders with the lyrics from his favorite song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A while ago I had mentioned on tumblr that Garrett was really into 80's/90's-era hair bands and one of his favorite songs was "Talk Dirty to Me" by Poison. Anders also secretly reminds him of a young Bret Michaels. So the other day this song comes on my playlist, it reminded me of the above comment, and suddenly this appeared. It's silly and smutty and kinda cute and just what I needed to distract me from the Karl feels I'm currently drowning in. 
> 
> [Here's the video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCChxBSRo1Y) if you haven't heard the song before. High-quality mid-80's shit, right up Garrett's alley lol.

It started with a missed text Anders saw first thing in the morning. Garrett – whom he had been with until late the evening before – had sent it well after Anders was already home and in bed.

**Garrett:** _you know I never_

**Garrett:** _I’ve never seen you look so good_

**Garrett:** _but I like it_

Anders furrowed his brow, one corner of his mouth crooking up in a smile as he reread the messages. What the fuck was he talking about and why was he sending that at three in the morning?

**Anders:** _did I look especially hot last night?_

He grinned, tossing his phone to the other side of the bed as he got up and started his day.

* * *

Pulling a shirt over his head less than an hour later he saw the little blue light on his phone flashing, signaling a new text.

**Garrett:** _and I know you like it too_

Anders ran a towel over his head, staring at the message for a few seconds before responding. Garrett should be at work right now, so he hadn’t been expecting an immediate answer.

**Anders:** _what are you talking about?_

It must not have been busy that morning because his phone beeped a few seconds later.

**Garrett:** _the way that I want you_

Okay…now they were getting somewhere.

**Anders:** _you can show me after work if you’d like ;)_

He waited, staring at the screen expectantly for Garrett’s response. He was always up for a little fun, especially if it involved the possibility of hearing some of the filthy things that his boyfriend had been coming up with lately.

He shivered slightly with anticipation, wondering what was taking so long. It must have gotten busy at the bakery…or maybe Garrett thought better of getting himself all hot and bothered at work. Because that always worked out _so_ well for him.

Feeling only slightly disappointed, he made his way into the kitchen to start the coffee maker and scrounge up some breakfast. He was halfway through frying an egg when he heard his phone beep from where it rested on the counter behind him.

He risked the possibility of a burnt breakfast, anxious to see what Garrett’s response would be.

**Garrett:** _I’ve gotta have you…oh yes I do_

Anders bit his bottom lip as he grinned, fingers flying over the screen.

**Anders:** _you can have whatever you want_

**Anders:** _should I come over when you’re done work?_

At least this time Garrett didn’t make him wait…even if his response didn’t quite make sense.

**Garrett:** _I never I never ever stay out late_

Anders’ budding arousal turned into confusion again, right as he smelled the warning signs of overcooked egg. He rushed to turn off the stove, moving the frying pan to another burner as he tapped out another message.

**Anders:** _you’re making very little sense this morning, love_

He busied himself making toast, hoping it would block out some of the burnt flavor, while he thought about the prior evening. They hadn’t been drinking. A good portion of the night had involved Garrett tied to the bedposts while Anders teased him to two orgasms. Maybe he was just eager for more.

He ate his breakfast, mulling over his plans for the day. Or rather, his lack thereof. He could always stop by the bakery. Maybe talking to Garrett in person would get a straight answer from him. He grinned at the idea, imagining how flustered Garrett would get if they had this conversation in person.

His phone beeped then, and Anders glanced at it with an amused expression. Someone’s ears must have been burning.

**Garrett:** _you know that I can hardly wait_

**Garrett:** _just to see you_

Anders had an idea. He made his way back to his bedroom, pulling down his pants and underwear in one movement before lying on the bed. He closed his eyes as he stroked himself, wishing it was Garrett touching him instead of his own hand, but it would be worth it for the reaction he got.

When he was completely hard he grabbed his phone again, taking a quick photo and attaching it to his next text.

 **Anders:** [attachment]

**Anders:** _why wait? ;)_

He lazily stroked himself, hoping his boyfriend would be able to excuse himself for a few minutes to give a proper response. A response that, with any luck, would involve getting Anders off.

The wait wasn’t nearly as long this time, and Anders grinned when he saw an image was attached to the next message. Garrett was obviously in the bathroom at work, pants and boxers pulled down mid-thigh and cock jutting out proudly in front of him. Garrett was squeezing his balls with his free hand and, from the looks of it, wasn’t too far from coming.

**Garrett:** _and I know you cannot wait_

**Garrett:** _wait to see me too_

Anders let out a quiet groan, stroking himself a little harder. He thought about pressing the call button. Maybe Garrett was still in the bathroom…

He decided on a text instead, giving Garrett the option to call if he could.

**Anders:** _fuck, love. I’m so hard right now_

**Anders:** _I wish that gorgeous cock was down my throat_

**Garrett:** _I’ve got to touch you_

**Anders:** _please touch me_

**Anders:** _god I want your hands all over me_

He was breathing heavily now, letting the phone drop onto the bed next to him so his free hand could move to cup his own balls as he thrust into his fist. Garrett hadn’t responded, and Anders had a sinking feeling that he had gone back to work. He decided to give it one more chance.

**Anders:** _Garrett f uck please_

**Anders:** _I need to come love. Help me_

Nothing. Anders groaned, debating if he should slow down and wait, on the off chance Garrett would respond soon. Or just give in and come, like he really wanted. It wouldn’t take long for him to get hard again if Garrett came back.

He gave it another few minutes before he couldn’t take it anymore, coming hard all over his hand and shirt. Breathing heavily, he picked his phone back up with his clean hand to see if Garrett had responded. Still nothing. He wasn’t going to give Garrett the satisfaction of knowing he came anyway, hoping maybe it would entice the other man into talking to him some more.

Anders peeled off his shirt, cleaning his other hand and stomach before tossing it onto the floor and lounging back on his bed. He wondered idly if Garrett came before he left the bathroom, or if he was fighting a hard-on the entire time he was behind the counter.

Yawning, pleasantly drowsy again already, he smiled at the thought. He wanted Garrett to show up that evening, hard and aching in his pants, dying for Anders to give him some relief. He was going to enjoy this.

* * *

Anders didn’t hear from Garrett again until nearly lunchtime. Anders had occupied himself by paying bills and responding to emails. He thought about taking Garrett on vacation to Ferelden, now that the weather was getting cooler. It might be nice to escape the heat for a little while.

He was busy browsing through hotel sites when his phone beeped, mind immediately jumping back to that morning’s events.

**Garrett:** _you know I call you_

**Garrett:** _I call you on the telephone_

**Garrett:** _I’m only hopin that you’re home_

Anders grinned widely. Lunchtime phone sex? He was definitely here for this.

**Anders:** _I’m home love_

**Anders:** _want me to call you? ;)_

**Garrett:** _so I can hear you_

**Garrett:** _when you say those words to me_

Anders chuckled. Maybe Garrett was still lost in his sex haze from the evening before. He was barely forming sentences today.

**Anders:** _mmmm I think I want to hear you more_

**Anders:** _want to try and see how fast I can make you come? ;)_

He felt himself stirring in his pants. Hopefully Garrett would have more than a couple minutes this time. He didn’t think it would take the other man long if he was still as worked up as Anders thought he was.

But he received no response. Five…ten…thirty minutes went by with nothing. Anders sighed in disappointment, glancing at the time. Garrett was due home in a couple of hours, and Anders _really_ wanted to be there. He decided to wait it out a little longer, hoping Garrett would at least give him a hint as to what he wanted.

He got that hint about an hour later, as another bizarre message popped up.

**Garrett:** _and whisper so softly_

**Garrett:** _I’ve gotta hear you_

Anders huffed, looking at it. He _offered_ to call earlier, and Garrett had ignored him. But who was he to say no to this man?

**Anders:** _I can call you now, love_

**Anders:** _are you alone?_

Fifteen minutes and no answer later, Anders finally tossed his phone back on the table. He was getting increasingly frustrated with the lack of straight answers from the other man. What kind of game was he playing? It wasn’t a fun one (for him, anyway) whatever it was.

* * *

It was just about time for Garrett to get off of work. Anders debated just showing up at his apartment but figured he’d give his boyfriend some warning in case he was running late or something.

**Anders:** _what time do you want me to come over?_

**Anders:** _or do you want to go out and do something first?_

Hopefully he caught Garrett before he left work. He might be able to meet him at his apartment at the same time. He had very important plans that involved pinning Garrett to the wall and fucking him as soon as he walked through the door. Timing was crucial here.

**Garrett:** _cause baby we’ll be_

**Garrett:** _at the drive-in_

Anders frowned in confusion. There was no drive-in in Kirkwall, what was he talking about?

**Garrett:** _in the old man’s Ford_

What?

**Anders:** _um…what’s going on?_

**Anders:** _you’re really weirding me out_

**Garrett:** _behind the bushes_

**Garrett:** _til I’m screaming for more_

Okay, _that_ comment did something for him. Garrett screaming for more was always a good thing.

**Anders:** _that’s more like it ;)_

**Anders:** _want me to make you scream, love?_

**Garrett:** _down the basement_

**Garrett:** _lock the cellar door_

Anders sighed. He thought Garrett had come to his senses. Maybe someone had taken his phone and was sending these as a prank? No…Garrett had sent a dick pic, and it was clearly his. He’d know it anywhere.

**Anders:** _love…_

**Garrett:** _and baby…_

Anders was getting ready to reply when his phone rang, Garrett’s name and number flashing up on the screen.

“Garrett, what in the fu—“

“Talk dirty to me.”

Anders made a small croaking noise in his throat. Garrett’s voice was deeper than usual, gruff, seductive…just those few words made his dick jump in anticipation.

“I…are you home?” Anders managed to get out.

Garrett let out a throaty chuckle, something that was usually reserved for post-sex sleepiness when Anders was trying to make him laugh.

“I’m home, love,” Garrett growled. “Home…naked…spread out on my bed and touching my cock, wishing you were here.”

Anders gulped, jumping up and rushing to his room to look for his shoes.

“I can be there in 15 minutes, just let me—“

“Anders,” Garrett interrupted, moaning out his name. He stopped dead in his tracks, letting out a shaky breath.

“Talk to me first,” Garrett pleaded. “I’m so hard…help me come.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Anders whispered, sitting down heavily on his bed. His own cock was now straining against his jeans, begging for its own attention. He kicked his pants off for the second time that day, making himself comfortable on his own bed. The hell if he wasn’t going to enjoy this, too.

“Okay, love,” Anders murmured. “What do you need?”

“You,” Garrett whined. “Fuck, I was so hard all day, thinking about what you did to me last night.”

“Yeah,” Anders groaned, reaching down to stroke himself through his underwear. “You were so fucking hot, so good for me, baby.”

Garrett let out a small whimper on the other end, and Anders could only imagine the state he must be in right now.

“Are you telling me you didn’t come all day?” he asked, own voice dropping lower. “Even after I saw that big, beautiful cock just begging to be touched?”

“No,” Garrett moaned. “Fuck, I wanted to so bad. I could practically feel your lips wrapped around me.”

“That what you want, love?” Anders grunted, pulling down his briefs so he could properly take himself in hand. “You want me to suck you off? You want to come down my throat?”

“ _Fuck_ , yes,” Garrett cried. Anders could hear his breathing change through the phone, knowing that Garrett couldn’t possibly be far from coming at this point.

“Want to fuck my face?” Anders continued, barely stifling a groan. “And then…and then I want you to come on my face. Want to feel it dripping. Fuck, I’m so close…”

“Yes, oh God, all of that…” Garrett nearly sobbed into the phone.

Anders stroked himself hurriedly, hoping to match Garrett’s pace. “You can do whatever you want, love. God, I can’t wait to get over there, gonna make you feel so good…”

Garrett was reduced to panting moans and whimpers, tantalizingly clear over the phone and only serving to drive Anders mad with their teasing.

“Keep going, let me hear you,” he panted, getting a loud moan in response. “How do you want me to fuck you tonight? I think maybe you deserve a little punishment for being such a tease all day…”

“ _Yes_ ,” Garrett cried out.

Anders chuckled. Maybe that was his goal all along. He could play.

“Didn’t get enough last night, hmm?” he drawled. “Or maybe I’ll tie you face down so I can eat that gorgeous ass before I fuck you into the mattress. Think I can make you come with just my tongue?”

“Fuck, Anders, please…almost there…”

“I’m definitely going to get you to come more than twice,” Anders breathed, his own moan slipping out the closer he came. He could save the rest of his teasing for later…right now he wanted to hear Garrett.

“Come for me, love,” he panted, Garrett whimpering slightly in return. “I know you’re close. I’m coming with you, just tell me when…”

Garrett shouted what sounded like a mixture of “now” and “Anders” as he came, Anders turning his head slightly away from the phone thanks to the sheer volume of his yell. He came with a loud groan of his own, although he doubted Garrett heard any of it.

After a few moments of silence – save for the labored breathing of both – Anders pulled the phone back to his ears as he cleaned himself off.

“Okay, love?”

Garrett chuckled drowsily on the other end.

“Yeah…finally.”

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

* * *

Garrett laid with his head on Anders’ chest several hours later, his boyfriend languidly twirling a piece of hair around his finger as they recovered from their third – no, fourth – round that night. Anders was pretty sure they were done for that evening, but he wasn’t ready to sleep yet, either.

“Love?” he murmured, tugging gently on the piece of hair in his hand. Garrett made some sort of noise that wasn’t quite a response, but at least Anders knew he was awake.

“What was up with your texts today, anyway?”

Garrett turned his head so he was now looking at Anders, huge grin on his face.

“Seriously?”

Anders gave him a small smile, confused. Was he supposed to know this?

“Oh my _God_ ,” Garrett exclaimed, sitting up and stretching to grab his phone from the bedside table. “Do you not know your own ringtone?”

“Garrett,” Anders began patiently, “why would I ever hear what you have set as my ringtone? I wouldn’t be calling you if I was within hearing distance.”

Garrett ignored him, tapping on his screen until he got what he was looking for. After a moment he grinned again, holding the phone triumphantly near Anders’ ear.

The heavy opening guitar riffs sounded vaguely familiar, but he never paid much attention when Garrett put his music on…the songs all blended together in his mind. He only said that once out loud, the look of mingled horror and disappointment on Garrett’s face enough for him to keep his mouth shut from then on.

“ _You know I never, I've never seen you look so good,”_ the singer belted out. “ _You never act the way you should…”_

Anders turned to look at Garrett, realization dawning on him as the song went on.

_“But I like it_

_And I know you like it too…”_  

Garrett grinned wider, singing along softly.

_“The way that I want you_

_I've gotta have you_

_Oh yes I do…”_

Anders burst into laughter, gazing up at Garrett in disbelief and pure adoration.

“So…when I thought you were teasing me the entire day, you were secretly serenading me, too?” he asked, pulling Garrett back on top of him. They shared a long, leisurely kiss as the song continued to play in the background.

“It’s like…my _favorite_ song,” Garrett huffed, pulling Anders’ bottom lip with his teeth before sitting back. “I play it all the time. I thought you would catch on right away.”

“Sorry, love,” Anders murmured with an apologetic smile. He ran his hands up and down Garrett’s sides as the other man pretended to sulk.

After another moment he shifted to roll them over, Garrett now looking up at him with a smug smirk. Anders straddled his waist, grabbing both of his wrists and pinning them over Garrett’s head before leaning over to suck on the sensitive spot right beneath Garrett’s ear.

“How about I make it up to you instead?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, Garrett is the biggest nerd and I love him so much. 
> 
> Come find me on [ tumblr ](http://draco-illius-noctis.tumblr.com/) if you haven't already. Or feel free to follow me on twitter at @woofyhawke


	3. Rally Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the Rally Cat that [graced the Royals-Cardinals game](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH5bDPlswvA) in early August. 
> 
> A cat gets loose on the field, right in the middle of Anders pitching. He handles it exactly as you would expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after everything in the series thus far. Probably around 3-4 years into Garrett and Anders' relationship. Partially cracky but hey, I said everything in this is canon lol.

It was a good night.

Well, it would be an even _better_ night if his team could score any damn runs.

Anders sighed, trying to keep his frustration to himself as he watched his teammates go down 1-2-3 in yet another inning. It wasn’t going to matter how well he pitched if he got no run support. He couldn’t be expected to do everything.

He stood, stretching slightly as Justice refastened his catching gear, shooting Anders a look at the same time.

“Do not stress,” the man said. “Just keep making your pitches. The hitting will come around.”

Anders snorted, giving his best friend a wry grin.

“Sure hope it’s _our_ hitting, then, and not theirs.”

“Like I said,” Justice replied, slapping him on the back as they made their way onto the field. “Do your job. Let us take care of the rest.”

He was tempted to make another snide remark, but he just shook his head instead as they walked out to the mound. Justice gave him another few words before walking back to the plate, and the sixth inning was underway.

Anders had struck out the first two batters when he heard a commotion coming from left field. He ignored it, figuring it was some kind of promotion or celebration in the stands or something. Nothing worth getting distracted over.

He went over the signs again with Justice and began his wind up when the umpire lifted his hands, signaling a time out.

“Come on!” Anders shouted. “Neither of us asked for time!”

He heard more cheering vaguely from behind him, but he was too busy trying to calm down his annoyance to give it any thought. When the batter didn’t immediately step back up to the plate, however, he started to get worried.

Before he could figure anything out, however, Justice was up and jogging toward him.

“What the fuck’s going on?” Anders cried when he appeared. “Is someone hurt? This is bullshit.”

“Anders, please do not overreact,” Justice began in his calm, warning tone. “But there is a cat on the field.”

Anders froze, gaping at him for a few seconds as he searched his friend’s face for any signs that he was joking. Not that Kristoff _ever_ joked, at least in public, but he thought maybe this was a rare occasion.

Except…he didn’t really seem like he was. And it _would_ explain all the cheering he’d been hearing…

He turned around to see an average sized gray, black, and white cat standing in center field, Samson staring down at it with his hands on his hips.

Anders removed his glove, handing it and the ball to Justice without another word.

“Anders…”

“Just give me a minute,” Anders called back, not bothering to turn around as he made his way into center field. He could hear the crowd erupt in cheers all over again when they realized what he was doing and he waved his hands, trying to get them to calm down.

The cat was now sitting, still facing Samson and paying no mind to anything else going on around him. Samson stared back, somewhat amused, as the cat raised a little paw and batted it at the man, as if asking to play.

Anders was momentarily stunned, nearly melting from the cuteness before continuing forward, trying to keep as quiet as possible so as not to startle it.

“Raleigh,” Anders hissed, the other man looking over. “Just stay where you are, I’m going to try and grab it.”

“They have grounds crew people coming out to do that, you know.”

Anders whipped around in panic and sure enough, saw two crew members come rushing onto the field. He knew his time was limited now…he needed to move.

He _had_ to pet that cat.

“Hey kitty,” he sang out to it as he got closer. “I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to give you some love and maybe take you home with me.”

Samson snorted loudly but, to his credit, hadn’t moved.

“You do realize no matter what else you do tonight, the only thing those damn sports shows will show is this, right?”

“I don’t care.” Anders scowled, trying to make it the last few steps quietly.

Just as he was within grabbing distance, he heard the crew members begin shouting.

“Get out of the way!” one yelled. “It’ll bite you, let us handle it!”

Anders turned and saw one with a net and his eyes immediately narrowed. No one was going to touch Joe DiMeowgio except him.

“I’ve got him!” Anders snapped. “Leave him be.”

With all the sudden commotion, the cat must have picked up that he was a wanted cat. With one quick look around, he bolted right past Samson and toward the back wall.

“Don’t let him get there, he’ll sneak through!” one of the crew yelled.

Anders sprinted faster, harder than he’d run in a long while, trying desperately to reach the cat before it squooshed itself under the wall and into the bowels of the stadium.

“Joe, come back!” Anders cried. “I just want to love you!”

The cat made it to the wall and began running back and forth, trying to find an open spot to crawl in and make his grand escape. Anders was too fast, however, reaching down and grabbing the feisty animal around his stomach and pulling him close.

“Sir, don’t do that!” another crew member yelled. “We don’t know if he’s feral, he might hurt you!”

“I don’t care,” Anders cooed, attempting to cradle the cat in his arms. “You’re a _good_ Joe DiMeowgio, aren’t you, handsome boy?”

Samson, the crew members, and Blackwall – who had just appeared from right field – all stared at him in shock. The cat was putting up a pretty good struggle, but Anders held tight, continuing to murmur sickeningly adorable things at the disinterested animal.

“You would _love_ to come home with me,” he was saying as they made their slow walk back to the dugout. “I have a big house and a _very_ good cat named Ser Pounce-a-Lot. And this man and his do--…his _friend_ live with us also. The man and I share a bed, but you could probably sleep with us sometimes.”

He began making silly noises, trying to tickle the cat on its feet.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” he cooed. “Oooh, look! Uncle Justice is waiting to meet you!”

“Anders, please give the cat to these men.”

The crew members were standing awkwardly behind Anders, trying to avoid the glare he was giving them at the moment.

“Where are you taking him?”

“Just to get checked out, sir,” the one man quickly said. “We want to make sure nothing’s wrong with him.”

Anders stared at them for a minute, as if weighing his options. He heard Justice sigh impatiently behind him.

“Anders, please,” he said. “Hand the cat over so we can continue playing. The umpires and other team are both rapidly losing their patience.”

With a loud sigh, he begrudgingly handed the cat over to the more competent-looking of the two men.

“I want to hear the results as soon as you know anything,” Anders told them with no small hint of warning in his voice. “And find out if it has an owner. Otherwise, he’s mine.”

The crew members nodded quickly before speeding off, most likely just happy to be away from him. Justice was chuckling quietly as he guided Anders back to the mound.

“You are okay?”

“I want that cat,” Anders pouted.

“Yes, I know. You can pitch?”

“Yes, goddamn!” Anders groaned. “I’m fine, just let me get this fucking out so we can see who’s not going to get hits for us this inning.”

“Calm yourself,” was Justice’s last warning before walking back to home plate. He had a brief word with the umpire and tossed some balls with Anders, getting back into the groove as things settled down.

As soon as play resumed the crowd erupted into cheers, and Anders got the last batter out on two pitches.

The cheers took on a new tone, however, as soon as the Champs came up to bat. Justice was up first and, to Anders’ (and the fans’) delight, he hit a double on the third pitch. The crowd erupted all over again as Blackwall stepped up to the plate, hitting an easy single. The Champs now had runners on first and third, and for the first time all game actually had a chance to score.

Anders couldn’t help but grin as Samson came up to bat next. As soon as the man stepped up to the plate, the JumboTron flashed to a clip of Samson and the cat in center field from just minutes before. The crowd immediately burst into renewed cheers, mingled with a new chant as Samson got into his stance.

_Rally cat! Rally cat! Rally cat!_

Anders laughed as the chant picked up steam, the large screen switching over to the cat sprinting across center field as Samson took his first swing and fouled the ball off. People were on their feet now, the noise nearly deafening as Samson took a ball. The runners were poised to go and Anders stood, making his way over to the steps to get a better view.

The pitcher was taking his time, checking to make sure the runners stayed in place as Samson got back into his stance and crowd started up again. Nearly the whole stadium was on their feet now, the screen flashing “RALLY CAT!” in large letters in between shots of the cat on the field. A few of his teammates came over to nudge him, giving him teasing jabs that Anders barely registered, as focused as he was on the game itself.

Samson connected with the next ball and it went flying into right center, almost exactly where the cat had been standing earlier. The outfielders had shifted, expecting a shorter hit, and were unprepared, the ball flying over the centerfielder’s head. Justice and Blackwall both crossed the plate, scoring as the crowd went wild.

Anders was at the top of the stairs, waiting to greet the men with a grin as they returned to the dugout.

“Thanks for the help,” he laughed, patting them both on the back. The crowd had picked the chant up again once more as the next batter came up, the screen repeating the earlier montage of clips and flashy text.

“Perhaps you should be thanking your cat,” Justice replied, smirking as Blackwall rolled his eyes.

“No mascots,” he said, pointing at Anders. “Unless it’s that dog of yours.”

Anders huffed, crossing his arms. “Woofy isn’t a mascot, he’s a goofball. Not like this noble, _clearly_ lucky cat.”

“Right.” Blackwall snorted, shaking his head as he walked away. Justice smirked, watching the exchange as he put his equipment back on.

“I suppose you already have a ridiculous name picked out for the poor creature?”

“My names are wonderful,” Anders muttered, turning his attention back to the field.

They ended up winning the game 6-1 in the end, Anders pitching 7 strong innings, but by the end, he was only concerned with one thing: the cat. Justice attempted to usher him back to the dugout after the game ended, but he broke free, looking for someone on the grounds crew to ask about the status.

After being told someone would find him in the locker room before he left, he reluctantly joined the waiting Justice so he could shower and change.

“Are you going to tell Garrett or just show up with a new addition to the family?” Justice asked as they got dressed.

“Oh, crap,” Anders sighed, reaching for his phone. He wasn’t surprised to see a string of new messages waiting for him.

**Garrett:** _NO MORE CATS!!_

**Garrett:** _you made me give back every stray dog and that chicken, don’t even think about it_

**Garrett:** _you’re not answering_

**Garrett:** _are you with the cat??_

**Garrett:** _I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m texting Justice_

“Did Garrett text you?” Anders asked, frowning. Justice let out a quiet chuckle in return, holding up his phone.

**Garrett Hawke:** _HEEEEELLLLPPPPP :(_

Anders sighed but couldn’t help and chuckle himself. He glanced around the room, still not seeing any sign of anyone with news.

“Well,” he said, sitting down in front of his locker. “Guess I have some convincing to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also yes, I stole the name from Neko Atsume. It was too perfect not to and we ALL know Anders is obsessed with that game. 
> 
> I wrote this a week or so ago and don't remember doing it, so you can thank my sleeping pills lol. I just wanted to post something short while I keep working on the chaptered fics :) Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Athlete of the Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders is named Athlete of the Year and is whisked away for a secretive interview and photoshoot. Garrett isn't prepared for the results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place shortly after [Fall Classic.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170417/chapters/18721234)
> 
> Inspiration taken from [this photoshoot](http://www.espn.com/espn/photos/gallery/_/id/16590918/image/1/jake-arrieta-scenes) (more on that story in the endnotes lol). 
> 
> I banged this out in about 2 hours because I was so eager to post it, so apologies for any mistakes.

“So…how long are you going to be gone again?”

Anders finished zipping up his bag, giving Garrett a sidelong glance as he fought the smile forming on his lips. His boyfriend was currently standing in the corner of the room watching him pack and engaged in a sulking routine that would make any toddler proud.

“Just a couple of days, love,” Anders replied. “The plane ride will probably take longer than the actual interview.”

Garrett made a face before sighing in resignation and Anders felt a twinge of guilt in his chest. It wasn’t _his_ fault he was going to be gone for Woofy’s birthday. The dog wouldn’t know the difference – despite Garrett’s insistence to the contrary – and they would just postpone the party for a day or two until he got back. No big deal.

“It’ll be fine,” he reassured his boyfriend for the hundredth time. “Besides…it’s not really something I can refuse.”

Anders had been picked as the sole Athlete of the Year by the most prestigious sports network in Thedas. It was a rare honor, and one not usually bestowed upon baseball players. It also hadn’t been announced yet. They were flying Anders out to the Western Approach (for some reason) to conduct an interview and photo shoot before the big reveal.

“I know,” Garrett sighed again, sitting heavily on the bed. “I just wish I could go with you.”

Anders smiled, pressing a quick kiss to Garrett’s head as he zipped up his bag. It had been hard enough convincing his boyfriend that he needed to keep the award a secret but being told he wasn’t allowed to accompany Anders to the interview brought the pouting to a whole other level. He would have to find something dog-related to bring back for him. And a gift for Woofy, just for some brownie points.

“I wish you could go, too,” Anders replied. “But I’ll be there and back before you know it. And _then_ you can tell your family about it at Woofy’s party.”

Garrett perked up at that, although whether it was over divulging Anders’ secret or about Woofy’s party, he couldn’t be sure. Either way, Anders was counting it as a win.

“Come on, love,” he finally said, reaching his hand out to help Garrett stand. “If we don’t get a move on I’m going to be late.”

* * *

“You want me to do _what_?”

Anders stared at the photographer incredulously, wind and sand whipping his hair around his face as he tried to make sense of the woman’s request. This had to be a joke…someone wanting to tease him about his pretty boy reputation and have a laugh before they got down to the real photos.

One glance at the others, however, and he knew he was wrong.

“You’re serious.”

The woman nodded, smirk playing on her lips as she gestured a short distance away. A couple of men were erecting a makeshift pitcher’s mound in the middle of the desert while others began positioning lights, lifts, and tripods. Something was happening, then. But how much could still be up to him. 

A nearby tech shouted something, catching Anders’ attention, and just the brief glimpse of beard, long hair, and muscled arms had him longing for his boyfriend, wondering what _he_ would think of this turn of events.

Scratch that.

He knew _exactly_ what Garrett’s reaction would be. 

The idea had him nearly giddy with excitement as he imagined his boyfriend's surprise. Maybe it would make up for being left behind. It would be kind of hard to top  _this_ kind of surprise...

He turned back to the photographer, giving her a wide grin now that he had made up his mind. If he was going to do this, he was going to go all out.

“Where should I get undressed?”

* * *

**_One month later_ **

Garrett dozed as he reclined on the couch, waiting for Anders to arrive home after his workout that day. Even though spring training was still months away, Anders had picked up a new regimen this winter to fill up the hours while Garrett was working. Even with his cut-back schedule, the upcoming holidays had him at the bakery more often than not.

The jingle of keys jolted Garrett awake as Anders let himself in, juggling a box under one arm.

“Hey, love,” Garrett mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “What’s that?”

“Advanced copies,” Anders grinned, putting the box down before he shrugged out of his coat. “I asked them to send me a bunch before they were released.”

Fully awake now, Garrett jumped up and grabbed Anders’ discarded keys, using one to cut open the tape holding the box shut. Anders remained quiet, observing Garrett’s expression.

“Did they _really_ have to pose you shirtless on the cover?” Garrett asked. He rolled his eyes even though he was grinning, holding the magazine up for his boyfriend to see. Anders graced the cover from the chest-up, glove just barely covering the playful smirk on his face.

“Maybe they thought I would sell more without clothes,” Anders replied lightly, but Garrett was barely paying attention, flipping through to look for the actual article.

“You can sell magazines on your own, you don’t nee—”

He cut off with a choked noise, mouth hanging open as his eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“Need what, love?” Anders asked sweetly, coming up to wrap his arms around his boyfriend from behind. He pressed a quick kiss to Garrett’s neck, pulling another strangled sound from his throat. Garrett struggled free a few seconds later, looking from the pages to Anders and back several times, at a loss for words.

“ _What is this?_ ” he finally shrieked.

“You haven’t even looked at them all, yet,” Anders innocently replied, coming over to turn the page. “This one actually shows my ass.”

_“WHY IS YOUR NAKED ASS IN A MAGAZINE?”_

“It’s highlighting my muscles,” Anders explained, preparing to turn another page. Garrett grabbed his hand before he could, inhaling deeply through his nose.

“Just tell me one thing,” he asked with a shaky breath. “Am I going to see your dick if I turn this page?”

Anders burst into laughter, taking his boyfriend’s face in his hands so he could kiss him properly.

“No dicks, love. I promise.” 

Garrett swallowed, nodding once before slowly turning the rest of the pages as he took in the other photos. Each featured Anders in various pitching stances, muscles fully on display and naked as the day he was born. He didn’t say another word and Anders didn’t press, only slightly worried that Garrett’s reaction was not what he expected.

Eventually Garrett sighed, shaking his head as he closed the book.

“I need to sit down,” he mumbled, staggering back over to the couch. He stared down at magazine still in his hands, not saying anything else.

“Love…” Anders began tentatively. He sat down on the couch as well, squeezing Garrett’s leg. “Do you not like it?”

Garrett took a moment to answer, closing his eyes and shaking his head before turning to look at the man beside him.

“It’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen in my life," he gritted out.

“Then what’s the problem?” Anders frowned.

Garrett groaned as he let his head fall into his hands.

“How am I supposed to show this to my _mother_?!”

Anders bit back a laugh, hand flying to cover his mouth but it was no use. Garrett was already shooting him a death glare, so he just let it out.

“I’m so sorry, love,” he managed to say as he caught his breath. Garrett’s glare remained steady as Anders worked through his peals of laughter. “I was only thinking of you when I made the decision, I promise.”

Garrett snorted, unbelieving.

“I don’t see your dick, so clearly you _weren’t_ thinking of me.”

“You caught me,” Anders sighed dramatically. “I was thinking of everything _but_ you, love, or else this shoot would have gone from R to X _really_ quickly.”

“Oh my God,” Garrett groaned, dropping his head again.

“It’s fine,” Anders hummed in amusement, rubbing the back of Garrett's neck. “Only like four people ended up seeing my dick, anyway.”

“ _Four?!_ ”

“Relax, love. I’ve shown it off to more strangers than that before.”

Garrett’s head shot up, looking at him in horror.

“ _What_?”

“When I was young and Garrett-less,” he soothed. “And full of alcohol, usually. Ask Justice how many times he’s seen me naked.”

“You’re not making this any better!”

“It was all for science,” Anders insisted. “If you’d bother to _read_ the article instead of ogling me you would have realized that. It talks about the physics and biology and—”

“And how everyone on the planet is going to know what my boyfriend’s ass looks like,” Garrett finished for him. The glaring part was over and he’d moved into pouting mode, which, to Anders, meant progress.

“You’re the only one who gets to see it up close and personal, though,” he teased, nipping Garrett’s ear. “And touch it. That’s the most important part, right?”

“I guess,” Garrett sulked, although he looked like he was fighting back a smile.

“Technically, everyone in the world _except_ you should be jealous, because you’re the only one who gets the real thing,” Anders continued. He gently pulled the magazine from Garrett’s hands, moving to straddle his legs. “It’s like dangling a piece of candy in front of their faces and then eating it yourself.”

“Your ass is the candy?”

“Obviously,” Anders chuckled, leaning down to kiss him. 

“Is that a hint?”

"Do I have to spell it out, love?" 

Garrett glanced at the magazine now crumpled on the floor, groaning softly as Anders kissed his way down his neck. 

"No, I think they did a pretty good job for you." 

* * *

**_Epilogue: One Week Later_ **

It was a week before Christmas and only a couple of hours into the day and Garrett was already ready to collapse. He, Sandal, and Orana were working the morning shift, and the orders were flying in as fast as they could handle them.

He was so caught up in putting the finishing touches on a batch of gingerbread cookies that he didn’t even notice the back door fly open. Bethany stood there, eyes wide as she waved the magazine in front of her.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” he sighed, bracing himself.

She stormed over, punching him in the arm as her face went red.

“ _Just so you know_ ,” she fumed, slapping the magazine down on the counter.

“Mom thinks Anders has a nice ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About 2 years ago un-shit-yourself sent me [this post](https://draco-illius-noctis.tumblr.com/post/152817167895/in-celebration-of-the-cubs-winning-the-world) after seeing Arrieta's photoshoot pop up online and NATURALLY our minds went to what Garrett's reaction would be if Anders did something similar. 
> 
> I added it to my prompt list and it sat, untouched, along with the 50-odd other CL-related prompts I haven't gotten to yet. 
> 
> But then... _but then_...after weeks of rumors, my team signed none other than Jake Arrieta yesterday. And I knew the time had come to finally write this prompt in celebration lmao.
> 
>  Hope you enjoyed this little bit of silliness <3 I'll be back with more stuff soon!


End file.
